#so when it's fixed... hopefully i'll be doodling again

[destiny-islanders]

we all deserve to have gimme cat energy sometimes, as a treat

[sysig]

Everything day

[juustozzi]

@thepinksky18 hello, and thank you sm!! <3 I hope it's okay to reply like this, I got kinda carried away with reference images..! I can try to share some things that help me with my art, hopefully they'll be of some help for you too!

when I do group pics like this, the thing I focus on the most is how everything looks and feels together! details and stuff can wait for later, first is to figure out that the overall picture works, and the characters are in balance with each other!

I'll use the Tenma horse pic you replied to as an example, will be continued under read more!

here's the sketches for the art! the very first sketch is very simple and blocky (I usually use a thick brush) to just settle everything in place and see how it all works out. the second sketch is more detailed and sometimes deviates from the first sketch a lot, if something seems to work better some other way.

depending on the complexity of the finished art, I do just these two sketches or add one more even detailed one, but the last sketch before lineart is the one I tweak the most! usually I draw characters on different layers so it's easy to select them separately and resize, fix proportions or positions, etc. to make the big picture look good to you!

here's the lineart (which could also be the 3rd sketch) compared to the previous layer. now I'm adding more details, but I still keep fixing the overall image - you can see how the lineart doesn't quite match the sketch in places: hikaru is shorter, the position of aoi's feet and tenma's hind legs are different, etc. some people like to do a very detailed sketch and practically trace their lineart over it, and if that's what feels good for you, go for it! I'm the kind to just throw lines over vague sketch and call it a day, especially with more simple drawings like this :,)

there's good tutorials and studies on bodies and proportions online already so I'm not going to even try to speak about those, but I got a few tips! I tend to do them in my mind nowadays, but I tried to draw them out for easier visualization!

I mentioned earlier how for me the main thing is that everything's balanced, right? that also inclues characters and their proportions. I think that in group pics it's more important the characters work out together, not so much if their insividual proportions are perfect. especially if there's notable differences between them - height, bulk, lenght of limbs, and so on! a few pixels here and there don't matter in the overall image, but for example with Shinsuke who is Tiny, it's important for me to really make him smaller than others.

my most used tool is a scale chart! it helps to visualize the proportions for the characters, even when they're piled up like in the example doodle, or otherwise not in a neat row on the horizon line. (again, separate layers help you tweak them individually if needed! there's no need to get them right on the first try, especially when drawing digitally when there's layers.)

if your drawing eye hasn't gotten used to proportions, the chart can also be used to make a neat little ruler to check your sketch! the rulers over the sketch are all same size, just moved around; tsurugi and shinsuke fit in pretty well, and while Tenma's torso is a little long (even when taking into accound he's a little bent from waist, which makes him even taller when straightened out), it's not by much and it wouldn't bother my eye.

and while I myself sometimes tend to be a slave for the references and get gray hair over minor details, or of some part of the anatomy is off and I can't fix it the way I want, the overall feeling and style mean a lot more! I think it's important to put some thought into the proportions especially if you feel like wanting to make progress with your art, but if it's getting too stressful or draining the joy of drawing out of you, then screw it and just have fun! (I say this as someone who has learned not from studying anatomy and stuff, but instead just. has drawn a shitton and had fun while at it. I think getting comfortable with just creating is the bigges step you can take!)

...oops, sorry if this got too long or off the rails! and yeah hopefully you (and anyone else reading all this) got something out of it!

[zombeebunnie]

Trembling Essence:💙Background + poll results💙

Hello hello and welcome new followers! :]

Firstly I just want to say a very big thank you to everyone that participated in the poll I did last week, I was really surprised but happy with the results and responses! This will help me a lot moving forward! :,] If you missed it and would like to say which route you preferred feel free to comment!

Anywho, this week mainly focused on art practicing again but I did work on the game and managed to get my bearings even more!

Here is the new background for the start of the game:

This took a long time to draw up since I sketched out the background instead of looking at references this time. Once I got a basic idea of how I wanted it to look it felt.. too empty and flat. At first I couldn't figure out why until I added more shrubbery and grass. After that I started adding the trees and then added a few more to give it depth and adjusted some of the coloring. So far the immersive symbolism I'm going for is slowly coming together! Since it just finished raining where you're located I tried to give the background the illusion of looking tolerably humid but slowly getting colder over time with a hint of decay in the distance. This is a better look of the dreary foreboding atmosphere compared to the "fairy-forest" from last week. >:,] It took a while but I also added a parallax effect here and optimized the images to save space. I kept getting an error when it came to the middle ground so I had to find and fix the problem which delayed things. I don't have a video to show it in action but maybe next time. I do want it to be known again that these automatically happen and don't follow the cursor. :,,]

Here's a sneak peek of the new choices you can do when you're in this area now. >;]

This part required a lot of brainstorming before I figured out how I wanted the explorative part to go. This was originally going to go a different way completely but a particular day caused me to just scrap it and start everything over. I have a very solid idea on how I want all of this to go better than ever so I can't wait to show some of the new areas! I didn't expect this background to take as long as it did to draw up but hopefully next week I'll have more done!

Progress doodle layout:

Since certain endings are being changed I thought it would be cool to animate a progress layout to visually show how everything is going! It shouldn't take too long to finish this section up since I already have a foundation laid out.

Noah's sprite sheet update:

As far as Noah sprite sheets goes, it's still in sketch mode and I haven't messed with them yet since I've been practicing. :,,]

There are some old drawing prompts I wrote down and sketches that I'm still doodling up behind the scenes so hopefully I can get to them at some point with some attached lore. :,]

Q&A / Ask box is still open:

If you have any questions about Trembling Essence/Noah feel free to ask here please. This makes it easier for me to see and answer accordingly! I would really like to hear from you guys!

Thank you to those who have sent in asks after everything got reset! I'll try to get to them when I can along with the ones that come to mind that got deleted. I just need time to answer since I like to respond with doodles/drawings as practice. :]

Overall that's everything I have to share so far, thank you guys for your continued encouragement and support through all of this, I wholeheartedly appreciate it! :,,]

[lynx-doodles-indie-games]

minor and moderate worldless spoilers ahead! i really like this game so please play it so you can have the full context of my stupidity

this upload's gonna be a bit different, since i wanna talk about a Very Very Stupid Thing i did when i played worldless last month, and hopefully some of yall can enjoy me being the butt of the joke idk. minor spoilers are ahead, but i'll put the moderate spoilers under the cut below.

also because there isn't a better place to put this, the colors i used throughout these doodles are from sweetavery's zenith, it's an impeccable fit for this game!

so, picked up worldless last month and yet another game pestered me about playing on a controller as opposed to keyboard. "how dare!" i shouted at my computer, "for i have bested the pantheon of hallownest in hollow knight and make for a fine accomplice in rain world's jolly co-op with just a keyboard! i don't need a controller!"

well, to absolutely no one's surprise, the default keyboard layout SUCKS. but that's nothing a little rebinding can't fix. i messed around in the menus, experimented with what made the game feel mildly more comfortable to play, which worked for about twenty minutes.

so i haven't talked much about the story, yeah? well that's because this wrestling with the controls took up so much of my attention that i could barely clock in what was happening! so that when the above happened, well… you can see how well that went out.

i actually put the game down out of frustration because i was really excited for it and yet the controls were so obstinate. this was my first impression, and it… was not a great one, you can tell.

about a week later i was bored out of my mind and picked up the game again. i'd wondered if i should've started a new save or picked up where i left off. i wish i had done the former. because…

yeah, i'd gone off the intended path and ignored the objective because i'd literally forgotten what the game had told me it wanted me to do.

that's as much i'm willing to divulge to the people who want to play the game with as few spoilers as possible. moderate spoilers below.

rest assured, i'm getting a pair of controllers later this month. the transition is gonna be… rocky. i'd been meaning to get some for being able to play horizon zero dawn and hyper light drifter and other games of that caliber, but this experience with worldless urged that along faster. (i am not looking forward to relearning how to play hollow knight and rain world on a controller)

---

back to the game:

so yeah, even at this point, i had not connected the dots that the guy who beat me up was the same guy i was chasing across the map was the same guy i saw in that apparition was the same guy currently crouched in front of me. i get "early-game amnesia" every so often (ask me sometime about my experience with shovel knight this summer), but worldless has been the worst example of it happening to me, not helped by the awful controls distracting me in the opening, not playing it for a long enough time for my memory of the first twenty minutes to erode, and then returning to my old save file instead of starting up a new one.

i somehow blearghed my way into resolving the conflict peacefully, since i'd known the battles are a bit like puzzles and this one had given me the capability of using wisp's cry. so i did, thinking it was simply the resolution for the battle.

and this. this took me off-guard. but, obviously, not in the way the devs had expected. i didn't know who this guy was so suddenly playing as him was rather confusing.

which is a shame, really. i wish i'd restarted the game instead of picked up from my current save. i wish i could erase my memories of the game and replay it afresh (but with more optimal controls). i wish i'd gotten a controller before playing worldless.

but what's done is done. i wrestled the controls into something somewhat manageable. in the span of less than two weeks of active play, i'd beaten the game, found the secret boss, ascended the path of determination, and overcome the ultimate trial all on a keyboard.

dw tho, i eventually bonded with my beloved deuteragonist (dubbed him "coal" in contrast with the original deuteragonist "wisp"). i've drawn a ton of them in the past couple of weeks and i'm hoping to share em soon. gotta get the word about this game out somehow :D

idk how to end this lol

[leftdestiny-posts]

My apologies for spamming your notifs lately but I randomly thought of this after messing up an egg recipe :’3

-

Whenever the Segments get mad at Cupcakettore, they try to sabotage his desserts. Once, a Segment snuck into his kitchen after the egg whites and yolks were separated. He then proceeded to pour all of the yolks into the bowl of egg whites, thereby wasting Cupcakettore’s earlier efforts. He even went as far as to poke the yolks to thoroughly mix them.

The next day, all of the Segments were served (poisoned) scrambled eggs for breakfast.

-

Also, ten-page ramblings, you say?? I shall make more room in my brain for Cupcakettore xD

Please, never apologize for giving me notifications!! It's a joy to see asks/messages from you :DD jkafnjkfn can you imagine my joy when I got this scenario for cupcakettore from you? While it's not quite ten pages, I definitely rambled for a while,,, so beware when you read this XD (note: I went really off topic but I added a doodle to compensate ^^;; forgive me XDD)

Before I'll drop the HCs, let me adore this scenario because <3 YES!!! (I have this lemon merengue cake recipe and I ALWAYS!! :(( mess up the eggs. I feel your (and cupcakettore's) frustration...)

Cupcakettore (quite literally) doesn't fit in the way he was designed to do, and while he is part of the hivemind, the others tend to make his life miserable whenever they can (granted, that is only possible by ruining his recipes lmao, hence situations like these).

Never before did the other segments (nor Zandik himself) understand his passion for baking (likely they never will). And while cupcakettore compares the kitchen to the other's lab and baking to experiments,,, the others just don't get it.

[Okay, I'll drop some HC's before I (hopefully) cycle back again to the scenario because cupcakettore (dubbed "DOTT" for simplicity,) has lots of lore in my head jsnldg]

• He was the first segment to be considered 'successful'. However, Dott remains far from resembling Zandik, as he is closer to becoming an 'individual' instead of a segment from the past. (let me explain;)

• While Kunikuzushi was created from wood, I imagine the current segments to be made from a combination of techniques from Ei's prototype puppet + Kharnri'ahn technology/Ruin guard parts. DOTT, instead, is a result of biotechnology --- a combination of innovative technology on human evolution + Ei's techniques for creating Scaramouche.

• ALSO!!! "Water holds memories", every segment carries a vial with blue fluid which connects them to the hivemind, and in extension, Zandik. These vials hold the memories that shape them, giving them personalities, and setting their traits fixed to a segment of "Dottore's"/"Zandik's" life (a.e. one of the 'younger' segments holds Zandik's memories of the Akademiya,, another of his first years in the Fatui,,, etc!! They all know what happened in the entire timeline [from Zandik's oldest memories to his recent ones], but if they're not in the vial, they haven't 'experienced' those memories; thus it doesn't shape their personality)

• But... Dott was only a prototype,, and thus hadn't been created with the 'vial' in mind. He was shaped to be a clone of Zandik; he got the same beliefs and ideas implanted in his mind ever since he first woke up; but without being a fixed part of the hivemind, he was able to drift into an individual (and while he's still very much a version of Dottore, he did gain some personal quirks that don't belong before he got added to the hivemind. Zandik suspects his unchained love for experiments (main_trait_1) and curiosity (main_trait_2) ended up being DOTT's downfall into a baker.)

• No one knows why this segment hasn't been deactivated (Pantalone sure questions it every time he gets a bill that consists of baker ingredients). --- Perhaps the first working prototype is a reminder of how far Zandik has come in his research, and perhaps he is there as cannon fodder, but at the end of the day, Dott does introduce a new perspective (even if most can't see that perspective).

• Everyone underestimates this segment until they remember that this segment is created in the image of the 2nd Harbinger.

• My guy created one of the most potent poisons on 'accident' (which he is currently banned from making again because of its effects). Dott also 'accidentally' created a truth serum that's now used for information gathering (although this ended up attracting a lot of rip-off serums on the market that didn't originate from DOTT. Pierro ended up having to ban this invention as well, since no one could differ a working truth serum from the cheap less-effective version of it (information intel became unreliable))

• He loves LOVES robots!!! Loves dissecting them, putting them back together, repeating, replacing parts, changing parts, and creating something new. He doesn't make many useful inventions in the field of machinery, but he remains incredibly intelligent and has a knack for remembering everything step by step, making ruin guard dissection and repairs his to go to job. (Though, if forced to choose between baking and robots... you know what he'll choose LMAO)

• One time he killed Zandik's favorite assistant on accident, but it's the assistent's fault, really!! After all, Dott did put a warning sign next to his fresh batch of cupcakes... Although, in hindsight he should've written the 'beware: poison' on a bigger piece of paper and not on a sticky note.

• He puts the most questionable things into his cupcakes. If it's not a new poison or serum, it'll likely be something worse (don't ask him)

• Once, a Fatuus was overheard laughing about the segment who baked in his free time. --- He ended up in the oven that same day, only for Dott to laugh in revenge.

• He shares his cupcakes, and while it's rude to decline them (he will turn you into his new red velvet batch), you can't be cautious enough with eating them.

• He ended up going into retirement once Zandik created enough segments. He was allowed to remain activated for as long as he delivered test subjects. So, he opened a bakery. The unsavory patrons that enter his shop end up getting delivered to his fellow kinship in the capital labs.

• His bakery is successful (to everyone's surprise)

• If you're polite (bonus points if you're a regular), you'll be safe. Contrary to normal belief, he does have a heart in the shape of curiosity and validation, so if you're a sweetheart breaking into his routine, you'll end up getting his special made cupcakes (he baked them just for you!) and the news of your annoying co-worker suddenly missing! (Tell Dott about it, he'll laugh. Just don't ask why he does)

OKAY SO!! I can 100% see (pre-bakery times) a new segment stealing one of his cupcakes (god forbid mess with his recipe and he's like;

Imagining a new(-ish) segment messing with his eggs after Dott spent HOURS on separating them (curse that Fontainian macaroon recipe,,,) --- DOTT will get revenge.

Fortunately, the segments are durable, else they would've died from that new poison he added.

[fainthedcherry]

2024 Human Art VS 2019 Human Art !!!!!

AS PROMISED, HERE'S A POST WITH SOME NEW ART!!!

And also an art comparison, just to see, how much I improved in drawing the 2 bois <3

I'm MEGA tired despite having slept after work, but I WON'T let that deter me from writing a description!! YAPNADO AHEAD;

FINN AND MARCOOO. FINNANMARCO. BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE ACOUSTICALLY AND FERALLY YELLED ABOUT MY 2 FICTIONAL MEN WHOM ARE CLOSE TO MY HEART.

I'm SO glad, that in the new drawing, Marco finally looks like the twink he always was, but still enough meat on the bones to look NORMAL lmao, can't say that about the 4 other sketches of me trying to redraw this ref for years. xD (why yes, his wings took forever, why do you ask? /lh)

I'M MEGA SUPER DUPER GLAD, that Finn FINALLY looks like a chubby, wild bastard TOO, OH TOOTHPASTE MAN, HOW MANY HEARTACHES YOU GAVE ME OVER STRUGGLING TO DRAW AN ENDOMORPHIC BODY TYPE. BUT I CAN NOWWWWWWWwwww!!!!!

God this habit of loudly reading out my posts as I type them made me realise what a bad Schwarzenegger impression I do on accident bc I'm overly excited to post something after a month of silence SDKFSKLDG

ONE THING I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO. IS PUT EVERY DETAIL I NEEDED ON A BIG REF. SO I DID! I've drawn closeups of the boys's eyes, I've drawn Finn's tongue so that I don't need to constantly remind myself what his blush and flesh colours were sdfkldsgkl, I FINALLY denoted their heights, so people know that they're tall TALL dudes (and that Finn obviously will struggle w/ his lanky mfing legs, we LOVE giving a middle-aged man heart attacks once he reaches his 40's!!!)

ANNDDD ALSO SOME SIDE VIEWS OF THEM. The last side-view I had of F & M, looked REAL bad. Like, Marco's face looked WAY too stereotypically European (to my fault bc surprise surprise not many African people live in Europe so I had poor frame of reference but I've been fixing it via looking up images online instead, at least it helps but yeah, I have a hard time so far unfortunately💀), Finn's was just... B u c k e t. NOT LIKE HANDSOME BUCKET. BUT JUST BUCKET. IT NEEDED FIXING (fun fact I accidentally made Finn have the most attractive jaw shape for men according to beauty standards and I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I JUST WANTED THIS MAN TO LOOK S Q U A R E AND THAT'S IT, MINECRAFT STEVE HAS MORE RIZZ THAN MOST MEN OFFICIALLY).

OH YEAH ALSO A CLAW REF AGAIN FOR FINN!!! His old ref looks too cool for me to give up on it tbh even as dated as it is sfjklsdglk, BUT I felt like I needed to redraw them properly.

FUNNILY ENOUGH A PERSON I COMMISSIONED SAID I HAVE SOME REALLY CLEAN AND NICE LINEART. I wish I heard that 5 years ago when I was really insecure about my bad lineart skills xD, I don't use lineart anymore nowadays outside of reference-drawings like these I don't plan to redraw in the next years unless necessary soooo yeah! They're gonna appear much rarer unless I go off and about making more ref sheets of all of my Sonc OC's sfklsdgsdfksdg

This drawing took 5 days to make btw. Not the hours spent on this LOL. 5 days of my life I'll never get back tho bc I care too much about my babies and I feel they deserve proper refs sdfklsdglk

WHAT ELSE SHOULD I MENTION.....HOPEFULLY I PLAN TO DRAW MORE HUMAN REFS IN THE FUTURE INSTEAD OF STAY IN MY COMFORT ZONE OF SONIC OCS ONLY. I for years wasn't confident in my ability to draw humans, but I can do so NOW at least!!!!!!!!!! Even if I'm like...3 years too late to how I wish my art looked back then already dsklfdsg, I have some high standards I need to continue to knock down as my 2024 resolution sdfklsdg

^IT'S BEEN WORKING THOUGH AS YOU CAN TELL BC I'VE BEEN UPLOADING SOME BAD DOODLES AND SKETCHES, BEEN DRAWING MORE GARBAGE AND BECAME MORE INVOLVED IN MY BELOVED FANDOMS. I wanna continue doing so! It was the most fun I've had with art ever. I hope to properly meet more fandoms I left in the past bc I thought it'd be embarrassing to share my passion for a franchise back then. I EMBRACE THE CRINGE NOW AS AN ADULT AT LEAST EVEN IF 7 YEARS TOO LATE ON THAT FRONT TOO. We all age and mature ig but I just become more silly year by year,,, c:

Oh yeah if you also see this btw lemme know, whether the new watermark tiles are subtle enough to not be noticed!!!! I know, watermarks are annoying and nobody likes them, but ever since AI invasions, I REFUSE to put my work online without ANY form of proof that somebody took it from my page. I just want people to stop lying on the internet for cloud and pick up a pencil. It's not that hard smfh. The only time I could excuse AI art is w/ amputees man. That's the only time I could empathise with someone, who wants to be an artist but LITERALLY can't bc they got dealt a bad hand in life. I digress my AI hate can be rambled about some other day, I know I love yapping and writing essays about THAT topic for sure sfklsdklg

I chose to post this ref to my Tumblr first tho, bc I still wanna work on my drawing of Abbacchio,,,, he is quite dear to me and I'd love to put effort into a doodle of him that won't take too long. Like 4 hours or 5 hours tops. I still have yet to figure out, if his cute star shape on his head is a hat or part of his hair. Bc I CAN'T TELL TBH AND I'VE BEEN DRAWING IT AS PART OF HIS HAIR PATTERN BUT I THINK IT'S A HAT NOW EVER SINCE I LOOKED AT MORE ASBR CAPS OF HIM I TOOK FOR REFERENCES. xD

Also another side-note, but I've ofc reduced down the lankiness of the dudes I draw™, but I in result wanted to sliiightly make larger feet/hands bc my Sonic phase will continue to possess me 'til the end of time /hj, if you also wanna lemme know what you think on that, bls do! I am messing about with stylization still. I am finding my footing with stylizing humans sOOO yeah!!!! I hope to some day be satisfied with my artstyle change of '24! So far it's been really rewarding and eye-opening to me and my journey as an artist for my 7 years of existing on the 'net w/ my silly goobers I like to scream about to in the void <3

Once again, tagnado also incoming below bc I dunno how to properly tag my art so lemme throw in things I THINK are relevant to this post sdkldsgkl

See you hopefully tomorrow w/ a lil doodle dump if I get around to it!!!! : D

[silkmorii]

They/He ∘ Formerly mentally-deranged-bit :D I draw what I want! Mostly Sonic…

I often forget to post my art I do on my ipad to here because i’m on sketchclub, but I am trying to get more consistent !!

︶꒦꒷✧꒷꒦︶

I try to use this site as intended and reblog posts instead of liking them. I'm sorry if I liked your post, I probably wanted to reblog it but slipped into old habits. Notify me if I have reblogged horrific by accident like a dogwhistle or transphobia, etc. Trust me, I want to know and I will not bite you.

Also, sometimes I reblog my own art because I like it and want to share it again lol I swear & use lots of emoticons. I'm also pretty chill with people interpreting my drawings! In fact I like it when people come away with different opinions! Have fun, man!! I try to tag characters, type of post & anything else important within so my blog is easier to search through! If I've missed something, please tell me! I don't like to inconvenience people!

The current Sonic hyperfixation* started February 20th after I binged season 3 of Sonic Prime. Not sure how long I'll be like this, but I def liked Sonic before so I'm not just gonna drop off the face of the earth either yeah? [*NOW ITS A SPECIAL INTEREST HELP]

I will draw eyestrain & other stuff, but I will tag those so y'all can block those out if you want!

Tag masterlist Do I tag in a way that likely makes it a bit harder for me to be found? If so, idc because it helps me hopefully keep it chill around here lol

Sonic Headcanons These are important to understand certain things i will draw & honestly just kinda fun!😭 Very much a WIP rn!

Art im Proud of right now~

Shadow Being Introduced to Lady Gaga’s Music ||| Silver Baking Cupcakes ||| Ourple Shadow

Other stuff that���s sort of important under the cut because this is… quite long

The way I tag posts is more or less in the order of

Every Character in the post’s name > ship name > fandom > type of post > any other thoughts

sometimes I mess up lol

Examples

a post where it’s just a doodle of sonic and it’s my art would be tagged like this most of the time

Sonic the hedgehog, sonic, mori.art

A reblog of a post about someone’s oc

[Name if I know it], “others ocs” or [the fandom of the oc], mori.reblog

Not everything mentioned here will be tagged on each post, and sometimes I’m not sure how to tag to this standard, but I try! Let me know if something is missing/how to fix it :D

This does kind of keep me from reblogging some stuff because, for example, I don’t know enough about Godzilla to even BEGIN tagging any of the cool shit i find there but hopefully I’ll figure that out lol.

[risingsunresistance]

i think i need to log out, im unstable lmao

[the---hermit]

10|10|2022

Still no word from the professor, so no new corrections for my thesis, which means I am just rereading ad nauseam, as we say in Italy, fixing typos and that's it. So instead of thinking about this and ruining my mood even more I started working on a new crocheting project. I finally finished my sweater (of which I have no posted a full picture yet, but I was hoping to get a good one when the weather will allow a decent light) and today I decieded on what I wanted to do next. A few months ago I had seen these lovely book sleeves (I think they are called) that basically protect your book if you put it in a bag, and often have a pocket in the front to store pens and post it notes. I fell in love with the idea, but I put off buying it because at the end of the day it wasn't something I needed to survive. And remembering that idea I decided to try and make one for myself the the left over yarn I have. I created a project myself because I wanted it to be in a certain way (hopefully it will turn out as I imagined it). I could post pictures of my messy plan in my bullet journal if someone is interested. I started working on it on my lunch break and to be honest I think I'll be done with it by the end of the week. After that I'd like to try to make a bookmark, but I'll focus on one thing at the time.

Productive things I did today:

did my inktober doodle for the day

started rereading and editing my thesis again.

planned and started working on a new crochet project

learned a new crochet stitch

started writing a couple of bookish posts (I don't usually include these things in my productivity lists, but lately anything that takes me a mental effort makes it to this list)

Self care things I did today:

read first thing in the morning

crocheting while listening to an audiobook

breathing execises

📖: The Secret History by Donna Tartt, The Atlas Six by Olivie Blake

[badassbabeparker]

Vacation Part 2 ~ Prague [P.P]

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

A/n: Chapter 2 is here! I'm still working on 3 and I'll hopefully have it done in time for next week. I'm so grateful for the response from this small series and I'm excited that you all like it! This chapter has more angst in it and yes I was slightly inspired by To all the boys I've loved before haha.

Thank you to @eeyore101247 for beta reading this chapter for me at the last minute! I love you Lolo!

WC: 5.8k

Warnings: Angst, mentions of slut-shaming and bullying, high school sucks, mentions of Tony and grief but also cute romantic fluff cause we love to see it.

The end of the class’ time in Italy arrived too soon in Peter’s opinion. He’d had so much fun with you, he’d almost forgotten entirely about his plan. Almost. There was still a part of him drawn to MJ and still felt jealous when she was with Brad which started to happen more often.

And yet he always felt himself drawn back to you.

Peter sighed as he finished packing his bags, his head reeling from everything until he heard a knock on the door. Mostly everyone had left the hotel in a hurry but Ned had stayed with Peter.

“You got a package.” He handed Peter the wrapped package and looked at him with a furrowed brow. “Do you think it’s a bomb or something?”

Peter looked at his best friend in bewilderment. “Well I do now!”

“I’m sure it’s not.” Ned shook his head, eying the package carefully. Peter cautiously looked at Ned and back at the parcel in his hands. He knew this vacation had been too good to be true. He carefully looked at the writing and noticed a shield logo in the corner.

“It’s from SHIELD.” Peter spoke carefully as he opened the wrapping, he was hoping maybe for a cool badge or something but instead there was only a glasses case. Ned and him exchanged a look before opening the case.

There inside of the wooden casing was a pair of glasses, they looked mostly ordinary with a blue shaded tint to the lenses like the kind Tony would wear. Peter felt a strange kind of feeling as he looked at them, it was a mix of grief and disappointment, are these old glasses really the only thing Tony had left for him?

“Awesome!” Ned looked over Peter’s shoulder at the glasses. “Try them on!”

Peter thought about it before quickly closing the case and putting it in his backpack, shaking his head. “We’ll be late for the flight.”

“Oh you didn’t hear?” Ned gave Peter a look who shrugged in return. “We’re going by coach now. Mr Harrington said we got an upgrade to Prague.”

“What about Paris?!” Peter exclaimed, looking at Ned with wide eyes.

“Well Mr Harrington and Mr Dell kind of got into an argument about whether it was Prague or Paris we were meant to be going to. Turns out Mr Harrington was supposed to book Paris but he booked Prague instead.” Ned explained, shaking his head.

Peter sighed and furrowed his brow, a coach didn’t sound much fun but at least Peter didn’t have to worry about flying. He wasn’t sure if there were any romantic spots in Prague but it was nothing a quick internet search couldn’t fix. It’s not like his plan was going according anyway.

He grabbed his bags and walked down to where the rest of the class were already boarding a large coach.

Everyone was already seated by the time Peter got on. MJ was with Brad, Ned was with Betty and you were with one of your friends. The only free seat was next to Flash and Peter preferred the option of sitting by himself at the back, he could do with the peace and quiet anyway.

You gave him a smile as he walked past and he returned it before taking his seat, almost falling into it as the driver started down the road. Peter rested his head against the window and took out his earphones, noticing the case next to them. He played his music as he took out the case and looked at the glasses again.

He picked them up and tried them on, waiting for something to happen but nothing did. He laughed dryly and shook his head, going to take them off before he noticed a Stark industries business card at the bottom of the case.

For the next Tony Stark, I trust you. Say EDITH.

Peter read the message aloud and jumped as the glasses flashed blue, a female voice talking to him much like the one he had in his suit. An interface loaded in front of him, showing a scan of his face.

“Retinal and biometric scan completed.”

“Hello?”

“Hello Peter. I am EDITH, Tony Stark’s augmented reality security and defence system.”

Peter adjusted the glasses and smiled, Tony had given him an AI with access to all of his protocols. He almost couldn’t believe that he had trusted him with that kind of access.

“EDITH stands for even dead I’m the hero. Tony loved his acronyms.”

“Yeah he did.” Peter smiled fondly, remembering the time he had tried to make up some of his own but had never quite hit the mark.

“I have access to the entire Stark global security network including multiple defence satellites and backdoors to all major telecommunication networks.”

Peter looked around as screens loaded before him of what his classmates and teachers were up to on their phones including Mr Dell researching the history of witchcraft. Ned and Betty were texting each other even though they were sat together.

“Woah.” Peter couldn’t get over how cool this was to have all of this access at his fingertips. He looked over at MJ wondering if she was texting before changing his mind, knowing it would be wrong. His eyes landed on where you sat and your texts showed before him. Ned wasn’t the only one Betty was texting.

Y/n: I really like him.

Betty: I know but I’m pretty sure he likes MJ :/

Peter could feel his heart racing. He wanted so badly to tell you Betty was wrong but the truth was he didn’t know anymore.

You looked over at MJ and Brad, biting your lip before glancing at Peter. He quickly looked away from you, his eyes looking over towards MJ on accident. He didn’t see the way your face fell but he did see the last text you sent to Betty.

Y/n: Yeah, you’re right.

Peter sighed and put his head in his hands, wanting to scream into oblivion.

“Pete, everything okay?”

He quickly looked up at the sound of your voice and nodded, worrying that somehow you knew he had been spying. He tried to quickly think of something to say as you sat next to him, looking worried and saddened.

A moment’s silence passed between the both of you, neither sure of what to say. The only sound came from the chatters of the bus and the passing scenery outside.

“I like your glasses. Are they new?” You smiled, breaking the silence as you admired the new frames and the eyes underneath them. Peter slowly nodded and took them off.

“Y-yeah, they were a gift.” He gave you a small smile and put them back in the case. You noticed the Stark industries logo but didn’t say anything more on the topic. You knew how much Tony had meant to Peter.

After the blip when everyone returned to their old lives, you noticed Peter wasn’t the same person. He seemed sadder and lost, struggling to pay attention even in lessons he loved and sometimes he’d have to excuse himself quickly from the classroom. You had followed him once and found him on the floor, sobbing into his hands. He didn’t even register it was you that had hugged him until he looked up and mumbled an apology.

Seeing him that way broke your heart and the last thing you wanted to cause was more sadness for him when he was meant to be enjoying himself.

“I think they look good on you.”

Peter blushed and smiled, bowing his head shyly. “Thank you.”

You smiled back and nodded, deciding to listen to your music and handing Peter an earphone. He looked surprised at the gesture but took it anyway and listened to your music, a wide smile gracing his lips as you both shared the sweet moment together.

It stayed like that for the rest of the journey, both of you enjoying each other's company just as you had done in Venice. Peter couldn't get rid of the smile from his face until they stopped for a restroom break and he saw Brad and MJ holding hands as they got off the bus. His whole face fell which didn't go unnoticed by you.

Peter gave you a quick goodbye before going after Ned, in need of his best friend’s advice. You meekly said a goodbye before sighing and grabbing your things. Your eyes landed on a small journal on Peter’s seat that he must have left behind.

You know you shouldn’t have looked but the temptation was biting away at you. It was only just a peek, you told yourself. You smiled as you saw some doodles scribbled on the pages, chemical equations for something called web fluid (probably some cool science thing he was working on) and a section dedicated to The plan.

Intrigued of what the plan entailed you read ahead and with each written word the jealousy in your heart grew and the sadness broke your heart. Peter was planning to romance MJ with gifts and a whole speech he had written out in detail. Everything was planned and you were nothing more than a distraction. You even noticed that in one of Peter’s doodles he had written MJ or Y/n???

*~*~*~*

“I swear it was in here.” Peter sighed as he searched his bag for his journal, the one that held all his personal thoughts and feelings. Ned had tried to help him look but the mission was futile.

“It will turn up. Maybe you just left it on the bus.”

Peter nodded and sighed heavily, zipping his backpack up and throwing it back on his shoulders. He spotted a nice little souvenir for Morgan and paid for it before leaving the small store. He took a moment to look around where they had stopped since the rest of the group were taking their time and as he got closer to a small empty bathroom he could hear the sound of someone crying.

He gently knocked on the door to make sure that whoever it was was okay before being sharply told to go away. Peter felt even worse as he recognised your voice. He wondered what had happened since she’d been fine when he last saw her.

“y/n?”

“Peter just leave me alone, please.” Your voice cracked as you spoke, small sniffles escaping you as you sat on the edge of the closed toilet seat.

“You know I can’t do that.” He rested his head against the door and sighed softly, willing to wait for you until you came out.

“I’m trying to make things easier for you!”

Peter hummed in confusion before something slid out from underneath the door, his journal.

“Go be with MJ.”

“Y/n no..” He sighed and resisted the urge to bang his head against the door. “I-” He didn’t even know how to explain but he did know one thing. “It doesn’t matter what it says in there. I’ve had so much fun with you on this trip and I know now that you can’t plan everything, you can’t plan falling in love because it just happens.”

As Peter spoke he realised that his words were truer than they had ever been, he was falling for you and he couldn’t stop himself. He didn’t want to stop. He didn’t care about his plan anymore and yes it still hurt when MJ was with Brad but it was nothing compared to the happiness he felt when he was with you.

The world felt silent around the both of you as Peter’s words processed. You felt even more confused than before but you could also feel something else, hope. Peter listened to your breathing and the small sniffles that still came from behind the door.

“I’m gonna head back onto the bus. I got cookies if you wanna share.”

You held back a giggle and rolled your eyes fondly before opening the bathroom door and wiping your eyes free of tears.

“They better be chocolate chip.”

“Is there any other kind?”

You and Peter both laughed as you got back on the bus, already heading to the back together to find your seats. Peter put his journal away out of sight and smiled at you, taking out the cookies he had brought and offering one to you. It did nothing to ease the ache still in your heart but it did fill your stomach and no matter what you still liked being in Peter’s company.

*~*~*~*

The hotel for Prague turned out to be a lot better than the one they had stayed in during their time in Venice. Mr Harrington said that an anonymous someone had given them an upgrade which made Peter’s Spidey senses tingle. Maybe he was just being paranoid but he also knew that things like this were usually too good to be true.

Everyone was shown to their room, all except for Peter who got held back at reception by the lady at the desk.

“He said to leave this here for you when you arrived Mr Parker.”

Peter looked at her with confusion as he took the envelope, a familiar handwriting scrawled on top. His heart suddenly felt heavy but he pushed the resurfacing feelings of grief aside and nodded, making his way up to his room.

He could hear through the door that Ned and Betty were already inside making cutesy talk while soft music played. Whilst Peter loved his friends, he wanted to go somewhere quiet and open the letter. His mind had already decided where to go as he made his way towards the room number he needed and knocked.

The door opened to reveal your beautiful smile which already made Peter feel a sense of calm. He looked around for your suit buddy and sighed in relief as the room was empty.

“Can I come in?”

You nodded without hesitation, seeing the slight pain on Peter’s face and brought him to sit down on one of the comfy twin beds. He held the letter in slightly shaky hands and kept his eyes on it. You spotted the familiar logo on the envelope, the same that was on Peter’s glasses case and realised.

“Is that from-?”

“Mhm.” Peter nodded, keeping his lips in a tight thin line as he contemplated opening it. His mind was running a mile a minute with so many thoughts. He’d gotten the glasses from Tony and that was enough for him even if the card had been a bit of a riddle. He wasn’t sure if he could handle a letter too.

“Can you open it?” Peter looked at you pleadingly as he handed you the letter, his hands still visibly shaking. You hesitated before nodding and carefully opened the envelope, reading the letter aloud.

Dear Peter,

I’m writing this in case all goes well and we manage to restore normality, at least what once was. I know you’re going to do great things and maybe you’ll make mistakes along the way but that’s part of being human kid. God knows I made more than I can count.

I wanted to make your senior year as awesome as it should be so if you’re reading this then you made it kid. I don’t remember much of my last year of high school but I wanted to make sure you did so make the most of it and don’t worry about any extracurriculars on your trip.

I know you’ll make me proud Peter cause you already do. Now go have fun and don’t do anything I would do or anything I wouldn’t do. Remember the little grey area is where you operate.

Anonymous someone.

Peter laughed and sniffled as you finished, wiping his eyes as tears had started to fall. You quickly put the letter down and wrapped your arms around him, hugging him close.

“It’s okay.”

He nodded against your shoulder as a few more tears fell, his fingers clinging onto your sweater. Peter wasn’t sure whether to smile or cry more at the words from his mentor so he did both. He reread the letter again and again that night, feeling the weight on his heart ease. Tony had upgraded his class trip for him probably through Happy to make sure Peter had a nice time and he had also said he was proud of him. That hit Peter the most and it was what he needed to hear in that moment.

You both stayed like that for a few minutes as Peter’s breathing calmed, his tears reducing to sniffles. You rubbed his back comfortingly and played with his curls which seemed to relax Peter more as he stayed in your arms.

When you both pulled away neither was sure of what to say. Peter focused on clearing his face of tears and running a hand through his messy curls whilst you played with the sleeves of your sweater. You wished you could ask Peter to stay the night, after all your roommate for the trip had gone home with food poisoning.

Little did you know Peter was thinking the same thoughts, knowing Ned and Betty would probably still be in his room or go to hers. Sometimes they spooned and stayed up till late hours of the night talking, he wasn’t sure he could deal with that right now and he liked being in your company.

“Do you want to-?”

“Can I-?”

You both laughed as you spoke over each other, exchanging a back and forth argument of who should speak first. Peter insisted you speak and gave you a small smile.

You nodded and took a deep breath before looking into those familiar warm, honey coloured eyes. “Do you want to stay here tonight? There’s two beds and I heard there’s a Star Wars Marathon on tv.”

Peter’s smile widened, his eyes crinkling with happiness as he nodded. “I’d love to.”

The night passed by in a blur as you and Peter stayed up to watch his favourite movies, even having ordered some food from room service which had apparently also been covered by Stark industries. Just like in Venice, you laughed and joked and enjoyed each other’s company, smiling as you saw Peter enjoying himself.

There was still a hurt from earlier knowing how much he had wanted to be with MJ and you knew they would work together as a couple, you’d seen them in decathlon together but MJ seemed to be enjoying time with Brad and Peter was here with you. A warm flutter of butterflies exploded in your stomach as you met his gaze, he offered his warm smile and offered you some of his popcorn to which you nodded.

Maybe your chance wasn’t so dead after all.

Just as you were about to wind down for the night, it being way past midnight, Peter looked at you with a hesitant smile.

“Hey Y/n?”

You looked up at him in response, picking up some popcorn from your competition to see who could throw and catch the most in their mouths (Peter had won).

“I- um would you-” Peter stuttered over his words as they got caught on his tongue. He cleared his throat and you bit back a smile at how utterly cute he was. “There’s this big carnival tomorrow and I was hoping maybe w-we could go together?”

His cheeks flushed pink as he finally asked the question he’d been dying to ask all night, his eyes too scared to look at your reaction.

“Peter,” You walked over and cupped his cheeks, forcing him to look at you. He relaxed at seeing the wide smile on your face. “I would love to go with you.”

His smile widened to match yours and a wave of relief washed over him. “That’s great.” He gave a chuckle and blushed as you delicately kissed his cheek before getting into your bed for the night.

“Just to make sure I meant like a date.” Peter clarified, worried about getting put into the friendzone.

You giggled and smiled at him from your bed. “I know Pete. It’s a date.” You winked at him before turning off the light and laying back, ready to fall asleep with a wide smile on your face.

Peter smiled wide as he laid in bed, the sheets and mattress softer than the last one he had slept on. Everything finally seemed to be falling into place, it wasn’t as Peter had imagined but it was far better.

*~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning Peter woke up feeling more refreshed than he had felt in a long time. The sun was shining over Prague and even Peter felt brighter in himself. He looked over at your bed and smiled as he found you still asleep, snoring softly.

Peter’s whole heart leapt at the sight and he let out a happy sigh as he thought about last night. You had comforted him and held him and had even agreed to go on a date with him tonight. He felt like the luckiest human alive which made him want to do a little dance in his bed as he thought about it.

“What are you doing?”

Peter blushed and looked over to see that you were now awake and looking at him with an amused smile.

“Uh nothing.” He laughed and got out of bed, gathering the letter and his shoes. You giggled as you watched him accidentally grab your sneakers before switching them for his own. “I better get going. Don’t want Mr Harrington to call an emergency buddy meeting again.”

You laughed and agreed with a nod, remembering the last one at the airport when Mr Harrington had panicked the whole group when he thought Ned had gone missing only to see he was right behind him.

Peter smiled at you as he opened the door, “I’ll see you later?”

You nodded and smiled wide, “Don’t be late Parker.”

He shook his head and laughed as he left, an unwavering smile on his face as he headed back to his room. Peter didn’t notice Flash see him leave your room with a smile and his shoes in hand nor the phone recording him.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Peter took a deep breath as he stood in front of the mirror, brushing down his shirt as he bit his lip. “I’m not sure.”

Ned sighed and flopped back onto his bed. “Peter, this is the 7th shirt you’ve tried on! You look fine!” He knew as soon as he uttered the last word that Peter would rummage through his suitcase yet again for the perfect shirt.

10 minutes later, Peter was finally ready for his date, much to Ned’s relief. He watched as Peter gave himself a pep talk in the mirror, mumbling in the hopes Ned couldn’t hear him.

“Okay here’s the plan-”

Ned was just about to tell Peter enough with his plans before the door opened and MJ walked in.

“Hey losers.”

“Have you ever heard of knocking?” Ned looked at her and raised his brow. MJ shrugged in response and sat down on Peter’s vacant bed. She looked at him as he turned back to the mirror and tried to tame his messy curls.

“So you and Y/n huh?” MJ noted with a smirk, stealing some of the gummy worms that Peter had brought for the trip. He turned around so quickly, he almost got whiplash.

“What?! I-” Peter was at a loss for words, he knew news spread quickly at Midtown but how had anyone found out in one night. “We’re not really a thing yet.” He blushed and avoided his friends’ gazes.

“Oh really? Then why did Flash see you leave her room last night in the same clothes as yesterday.” MJ smirked again and threw a gummy worm at Peter who looked at her with wide eyes.

“I just- I stayed in her room last night.” He admitted, his cheeks burning red as Ned and MJ didn’t look convinced. “But nothing happened!”

Ned and MJ shared a sympathetic look as they saw Peter’s distress grow at the rumor. He picked up his phone and panicked as he saw the midtown gossip website showing a video of him leaving your room. Before he could panic anymore Peter quickly made his way to the other side of the hotel floor and banged on Flash’s door.

“Woah penis what-?”

“Take it down.” Peter didn’t disguise his anger as Flash opened the door.

“What?”

“The video you took last night Flash. Please take it down.” Peter lowered his voice and pleaded. He knew this would affect you as soon as you saw it and the last thing he wanted was for you to get hurt because of him. Not again.

“Why? Don’t want everyone to know you’re not a virgin anymore?” Flash smirked and laughed before noticing the anger grow once more on Peter’s face. “The video’s out of my control. Sorry dude.”

Flash closed the door, not sounding sorry at all. Peter sighed and leaned against the wall, resting his head back. Everywhere around him classmates were getting ready for the carnival, whispering behind his back and giving him looks, he wasn’t sure if they were impressed looks or disgusted ones but either way he didn’t like them.

Peter usually lied low so he could avoid things like this and stay out of the rumor mill. He hated rumors and he hated being a part of them even more. Just as he was contemplating messaging Happy to see if he could do something, he heard a door open and looked up.

You walked out of your room, looking as beautiful as ever and Peter swear his heart almost dropped out of his stomach at the sight as the butterflies ran rampant in his stomach. You looked around before catching his gaze and smiling.

“Hey Pete.”

For a moment, Peter forgot how to form words, too focused on how beautiful you looked as you smiled. His throat felt dry and his hands felt clammy to the touch.

“H-hi.” He finally managed to say, his heart racing as you smiled wider and giggled.

“I was just coming to meet you. Are you ready to go?”

Peter thought back to the video circulating his classmates phones and he assumed you hadn’t seen it. He knew he should’ve told you there and then but he didn’t want to ruin your date or hurt you so he kept his lips sealed.

He nodded and gave you a small smile, heading out of the hotel with you. Your hands touched briefly as you walked and Peter almost took your hand in his before pulling away as he chickened out. You tried not to show your disappointment and offered Peter a smile.

The streets of Prague were full of life and celebration, everyone wearing bright colours and dancing along the streets as loud music played. Peter allowed himself to be distracted at the joy of the city before your hand slipped into his, catching him by surprise.

You gave his hand a squeeze and smiled, “So we don’t lose each other.” It was partially the truth but you mostly just wanted to hold his hand. Peter smiled and nodded but you could tell something was wrong.

It wasn’t just the rumour mill that was getting to Peter, the loud noises and brightness was causing his heightened senses to overload. He began to feel on edge and his palms grew even sweatier than before.

“Peter are you okay?”

He looked at you and bit his lip, shaking his head slowly. You squeezed his hand comfortingly and nodded, seemingly understanding what needed to be done as you led him over to the Ferris wheel.

Peter sighed in relief as you and him both got seated, your hands still interlinked as the door shut to the cart you were in.

“I hate crowds too.” You admitted with a soft blush and met his gaze. Peter smiled softly and squeezed your hand like you had done to his.

The wheel moved slowly allowing you both to enjoy the moment and the sights of the city. Peter knew that he didn’t need to fill the silence or try to talk, you were just there for each other as you had been last night and the whole trip.

Music from the streets filled the silence of the night as you and Peter looked out at the stars glittering in the night sky. It was right as you reached the peak of the wheel that Peter finally broke the silence.

“I really like you Y/n.”

You blushed and turned to Peter, noticing the redness of his cheeks and the staggered breaths escaping his lips. He looked straight ahead for a few moments before he felt your hand grip tighter onto his and saw your smile from the corner of his eye.

“I really like you too Peter.”

He smiled wide, mirroring yours before noticing your face fall just as fast.

“But I don’t want to be second best.”

Peter’s heart broke at her words, knowing she was thinking back to his journal. He shook his head and quickly cupped your cheeks in his hands, meeting your gaze lovingly.

“You’re not second best Y/n. You never were and you never will be. The truth is I’ve always liked you but I just- I never thought I would be lucky enough to have a chance with you.”

You smiled at the genuinity in Peter’s voice and his warm brown eyes that pulled you in ever closer until your lips were almost touching. “Always liked me huh?”

Peter nodded and smiled wide, the blush on his cheeks becoming brighter as he looked down at your lips.

“C-can I kiss you?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

You smiled as Peter’s lips finally met your own, after years of pining and wondering what if. Peter’s lips were soft and tasted like the cotton candy you had shared earlier. Your lips were sweeter than Peter had ever imagined, if that was possible.

Neither of you wanted the kiss to end but you could feel the need for air increasing in your lungs. You were the first one to pull back, catching your breath as you leaned your forehead against Peter’s. He chuckled softly and smiled so wide that his eyes crinkled.

“Woah.”

You nodded and pecked his lips once more with a giggle. The blush on your cheeks was rivalling Peter’s now as you noticed the ride was soon coming to an end. Peter looked disappointed before quickly paying for another ride.

“I hope you did that so you can kiss me again.” You smiled coyly and looped your arms around Peter’s neck.

“Maybe.” He shrugged and laughed before leaning in to kiss you again but this time he hesitated as he saw the looks from some of his classmates. The reminder hitting him like a train.

“Pete? What’s wrong?” Your fingers played with the curls at the nape of his neck as the wheel started to move again. Peter visibly gulped and his mood fell as he looked back at you.

“There’s something I have to tell you.”

You bit your lip in worry and nodded, having a feeling you knew what Peter was going to say.

“Pete I know.”

“You do?”

You giggled and nodded again, kissing his cheek and leaning in close. Peter blushed and looked guilty, his eyes avoiding yours.

“You being Spider-Man doesn’t bother me.”

Peter’s blood ran cold and he quickly shifted away, laughing in pretend disbelief. “I-What?! No. I-I’m not Spider-Man!”

You looked knowingly at him and rubbed his arm, taking his hand back in yours. “Peter it’s okay, i think it’s cool.” You smiled but Peter still sat in denial, shaking his head.

“I-” He gulped and sighed, biting his lip. “Is it that obvious?”

“No but I’ve had a crush on your for a while now and I’m not dumb Peter. The glasses and the letter from Iron Man. And then there was Washington. I just know you Peter.” You blushed and fidgeted with your hands, feeling embarrassed to admit your crush even though you had only kissed him 5 seconds ago.

Peter smiled, finding it endearing that you knew him and had paid attention to him all this time. He leaned back in close to you and rested his hand on yours.

“Oh my god!” You gasped, laughing as Peter was taken aback at your exclamation. “I’m dating a freaking superhero!” You giggled with Peter before kissing him again. The kiss was even more perfect than the last as your lips began to learn and memorise each other.

*~*~*~*~*

The carnival livened up even more as the night went on. The music became louder and the people got more drunk, something that might have made Peter annoyed but nothing could ruin his mood right now. He could still taste the sweetness of your lips on his and he just couldn’t get enough.

You giggled as Peter kissed your lips again after winning you a gigantic teddy bear. He smiled wide and giggled with you, the sound like music to your ears. You hugged the bear tight to your chest after choosing to name it Spidey which made Peter blush.

“This is so amazing.” You remarked as you took a moment to enjoy the scenery surrounding you. Peter sat with you on a nearby bench and nodded, hesitantly wrapping his arm around you. He smiled as you leaned into his side with a happy sigh. The moment was perfect and Peter was sure nothing could ruin it.

You jumped a little as your phone buzzed before pulling it from your pocket. Peter smiled to himself as he saw Spider-Man was the wallpaper on your phone. You blushed and tried to quickly hide it as you opened the message from Betty.

Peter turned his eyes towards the street to give you some privacy, the last thing he wanted you to think was that he was reading your texts (again).

He only looked back at you as you slowly pulled away from his arms, clutching your phone in your hands and only then did Peter notice that Betty had sent you the video of him leaving your room last night. You were scrolling through the comments and Peter saw that amongst the nice or gossiping comments that were hurtful ones calling you names.

“Y/n I-”

You shook your head and bit your lip, quickly locking your phone. You noticed a group of girls from your class staring at you and giggling, whispering in each other's ears.

“I have to go.” You sniffled as you grabbed your bag and quickly walked back to the hotel, ignoring Peter’s calls of your name. He sighed and tried to chase after you but within seconds he had lost you in the crowd and maybe for good this time.

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[tangerinegod]

Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿

hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!

i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!

the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you! 

also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!

another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D. 

if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job! 

these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:

- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?

I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy! 

- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?

kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work. 

- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?

100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!

- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?

i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer.. 

i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.  

- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?

i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus! 

sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!

[zombeebunnie]

Trembling Essence:💙Script progress + Updates💙

Hello and welcome new followers, long time no see! I was very busy most of this month, but I am back and ready to continue from where I left off on the game! This game development post might be a bit long but I tried to condense everything! :]

"How are things going so far?":

It's going slow and steady! I haven't been able to do too much these past few weeks, however, I wrote a few parts out before I got too busy and couldn't do anything else.

I want to be very careful when it comes to spoilers but, based on your choices, some of these areas will give off immersive cozy/homelike vibes that really express Noah and the player(Y/N)'s view towards each other. In the old 2023 script I was very new to writing so the small semi-hints of romance weren't the entire focus compared to the horror aspect but there's a better balance between both genres now and I'm still aiming for a meaningful slow burn versus it just being all over the place. :] I liked writing them a whole bunch which lead to a lot of these taking place in the mid/end of Day 4+, they just need to be placed in specific areas that call for it. With that being said, it felt really comfy adding key details about Noah and creating meaningful sections in the game. I was even going to draw out some of the unseen script/scenes but I believe the best thing to do is give deeper lore from the [Extended Demo] first. Even though my writing style has improved I still have to fix the multiple pacing issues I wrote last year.

"Playtester's advice":

I wanted to continue working through Noah's backstory but I kept having moments where I'd get sidetracked into wanting to fix up the start of the game again. Eventually, I talked to my play testers about it and they gave me a few encouraging pointers.

To help keep my process at ease, I will fix the beginning of the game when I take breaks from writing up Noah's backstory. :]

I talked about this during early 2024 but the start of the game that leads up to the cabin is still getting reworked. I was able to get some of it fixed for the [Extended Demo] but I wasn't done. Things are still up in the air but, I will say that I have a better view of everything than I did before. :] Another priority that needs fixing are the backgrounds! I've improved a lot on drawing and they need to be optimized. When you first start up the game, you wake up in a holed out tree in the swamp with the choice to leave this area and possibly end up in the forest. I was going for a very immersive form of symbolism that only a few noticed but, I believe I can do a better job about this. Unfortunately I don't have any new backgrounds to show right now but maybe next week I'll have some finished up! :]

"Art process/Noah's sprite sheets":

As far as Noah sprite sheet goes, it's still in sketch mode.

I didn't draw anything since I was gone so I need to do a few warm ups before I get to them. There are some old drawing prompts I wrote down and old sketches that I never got a chance to doodle so hopefully I can get to them at some point with some attached lore. :,]

My Q&A / Ask box has been reset!

Thank you to those who have sent in asks in the past, unfortunately they all disappeared except for 1 while I was gone. I have no idea what happened but I can only guess it just got reset.

If you have any questions about Trembling Essence/Noah feel free to ask or resend them in here please. This makes it easier for me to see and answer accordingly! I would really like to hear from you guys!

This is all I have to share so far, Thank you to everyone for the continued support and patience while I was gone! I was ready to accept the interest for this game to fade out and coming back to see that it didn't happen makes me happy, I really appreciate it. :,]

[the---hermit]

08|10|2022

Today I got more rest than I expected, I had a goal to finish rereading and editing my thesis for the millonth time and then send it to the professor, and once I was finished I took the day off. I'll start working again on it next week, rereading it all over again, and hopefully the professor will also send me some new corrections and indications of what needs fixing, since I finished sending her the newest chapters a week ago and she has not commented on anything yet. I have this stupid guit I am battling when taking time off, because I'll have to be done with the thesis in one week, and even though I have not much to do, I still feel like I am wasting my time by not looking at my laptop's screen for eight hours each day.

Productive things I did:

finished rereading and editing my thesis again

read more than I expected I would

continued working on my crochet sweater (yesterday I had technically finished the bottom hem, but I had to take it off and re start it because for some reason it came out wonky, so today I have been doing that and by the end of the day I might be actually done with this project)

did my inktober doodle (for both today and tomorrow, cause I don't plan on sitting at my desk tomorrow)

practiced Irish on duolingo

Sel care things I did:

read first thing in the morning

took part of the day off

had a really unexpected phonecall with two friends I don't get to see that often and it was glorious. It brought me back to when we used to see each other super frequently and I laughed so much. And I cannot wait to be done with this thesis thing so that I am more free to catch up with them.

crocheting while listening to an audiobook

took a relaxing bath

📖: The Secret History by Donna Tartt, The Atlax Six by Olivie Blake